Tongue-in-cheek suggestions to new members from Lollipop Guild member, Rexx

 
Hi! We know you're new here so of course you want to make the worst impression possible! Just remember these simple tips and you'll be sure to annoy people wherever you go!
 
1. In the foyer is where new people say hi and get welcomed! Why not post a personal ad here? Especially a personal ad saying you want to meet somebody for a RL spanking in 3 weeks! Or a personal ad in all caps! Those are so fun.
 
2. If you are a man, be sure to say things like "licking lips at all the lucious little girls" or otherwise indicate you are a big old horny net perv!
 
3. Adopt a kid on the first day you meet them! There are only about 500 posts all over the place, that strongly talk about how important it is to get to know somebody before you try and 'adopt' them. Those posts are just for decoration. Besides it's not like there's a 'real person' on the other side of your computer monitor, who has real 'feelings'! Everybody knows you are the only 'real person' here!  
 
4. If you are a kid, post 10 times within the course of an hour about how you need a Mommy. With each post, get more adamant! Mommies love to have things thrown at them and to be screamed at! Pooping in your pants is also a great way to attract a Mommy.
 
5. A good way for kidz to make the Guardians happy is to make a big mess! The playroom is a good place to destroy toys! That makes everybody so happy. Maybe you'll get a prize!
 
6. Guardians love to be manipulated! Of course the best way to do this is to create a scenario where you put yourself in danger! So go ahead- swing on that rotten rope swing over the crocodile pit! Juggle butcher knives! That will get you lots and lots of attention and of course nobody would ever expect your biological adult self to know better!
 
7. If a Guardian has a private room here on the Island, a good way to have fun is to go in without being invited, and mess it up! Guardians LOVE that.
 
8. And of course everybody loves it when somebody hijacks a thread! Don't bother to read all those boring posts those other people made before you jump in and just say whatever you want! Those other people don't really exist, anyway, remember? It's all about YOU.
 
9. Say over and over how sad you are because nobody will play with you. Then when somebody tries to play with you, spit on them! That is a great way to make new friends!
 
10. If you see another kid getting attention from a Guardian, sabotage this at ALL COSTS. There are 700 kidz here and about 8 active Guardians-- so any kid getting attention from a Guardian is TAKING attention from you! Butt in and break it up quick!!
 
Above all remember: This Island didn't even exist before you came here! So all these other "people" should be grateful that you are here and being a hellacious little jackass! And if they don't like it, you can show them once and for all -- YOU CAN LEAVE!!! (but be sure to post a long, scathing 'goodbye' post first. . .  and then come back 2 hours later.)